Febrility

Waking at 6 am
from troubled dreams
with a light fever
and odd chills.

Rarely ill,
this catches me
off guard.

Coffee doesn't help
and soon I lie
on the porno couch
caught and drifting
in a disturbed trance.

Vanished children
missed chances,
lost loves,
current fears
dancing in my
febrile brain
like hungry ghosts
distorted as in
a fun house mirror.

Where has the strength
of my youth gone?

What is this aging body
trying to tell me?

Reality, hard enough;
I have no wish
to see beyond it.

Keep your visions, God,
I don't want to know.

Just make me well;
restore me to the day.

Let me see clearly
and move on.

All I can take,
anymore.
- mce